october already, like whoa..

time is not slowing down at all. this is getting too insane.

these past few days have been quite an improvement from last week. a bit more gleeful, i must admit :) it's birthday week [it was Brian's 2oth on monday, tuesday was Michael's 20th, and it's my mother's 41st on thursday..eep!], which means tons of baking/gift giving. it makes me so happy! i also got advised on monday and i've added a minor in chemistry; i'm so excited for it. i feel like i've done something significant, FINALLY. my counselor told me that i was only a class away, so i decided to take her advice and go for it. double minor..who knew?

woke up yesterday and felt a bit better from how i've been feeling lately; the cough is starting to subside and my eyes aren't as irritated as before, which i'm so thankful for. i've been looking like the devil child for the past few days and i was starting to get sick of people telling me that i looked extremely ill >.< besides that, i want to punch my roommates in the face and chuck my coffee mug at their heads. they won't remember anything anyways bc it'll most likely give them a concussion, so it's really not a biggie. :)

i've been learning a lot about my identity in my times of reflection as of late..learning to guard my heart, soul, and mind, learning to trust God to help me decipher what He wants in my life, and not to depend on my emotions or the words of man to fill me, but rather to depend on Him to give me the answer. lots of meditation, praying, seeking, and waiting going on right now..i'm in need of clarity and peace of mind, but He always provides an answer in due time..

roughly two weeks till AZ. can't wait to be rejuvinated [thank God for an escape from the Baylor Bubble].

"i couldn't live without soap."

over the past few weeks, i've found myself to be a bit more worn down than usual, both physically and emotionally..more productive, but time just seems to be slipping away. work, study, eat/sleep [optional]. repeat. so many priorities, but at this point i just wish they would all go away haha not really; it's just been a bit tedious and i kind of want a break from the norm. in addition to that, i've been feeling a little lonesome lately..i haven't seen much of my roomies these past few days. i have two roommates, both freshmen--one of them 17 and the other 18. they're both sweet girls, but a bit "eh". they've obviously figured their lives out already at 17Y.O. at this point, i'm just feeling a bit apathetic towards them. no, i don't want to hear about your pothead boyfriend, and no, i have never heard of a classy sexy gangster, especially when it's pertaining to a Halloween party. really. it's just a bit draining to hear this constantly in accord with their lovely escapades. i can only give my advice and help them for so long..what can you do. "/

it's times like these where i just wish i had my own place and not have to worry about these things. i've found a little "hiding spot" at this coffee shop, but unfortunately someone who i really didn't want to find me, found me..epic disappointment. they're a good friend, but i really don't understand the need to hunt me down for no viable reason..it's kind of creepy actually. "/ i value my space very much and i wish that it was respected..so much for tranquility. ;)

other than that, life is good. AK and i went to Kirsten, Julie, and Zelyna's last night to have to dinner and catch up on life, which was amazing. i never realized how much i truly miss those girls..they're absolutely ridiculous! insane 2hrs of laughter+$70 carrot cake=heaven :) LG is going really well..just got back from Urban Night, which is an outreach ministry at the church where the Waco community can come and bring their families and fellowship with one another, and our LG Girls' Night. it was so nice being able to get to know the girls in our group and establish wonderful friendships with each of them. such wonderful ladies..i can't wait to see what He's going to do this year..i foresee many moments of laughter and words of wisdom coming our way. very exciting. just like Brittany can't live without soap [or her hand..and shelter haha], i don't think i can live without them :)

LG girls' night :)

d.e.s.e.r.t.

i miss this.
...but i am so thankful for the ones whom i've met and have shared their joys, weaknesses, and passion for God with me. my LG makes my heart happy..especially because they enjoy laughing by themselves as much as i do [even if they are from TX..ha]:)

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in inquity, but rejoices in truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things endures all things. Love never fails." 1 Corinth. 13:4-8 (ish)

back in Bear Country

i would have never thought that i would ever come back here. after such an "eventful" summer, i didn't think that i would ever find myself on a plane to TX again..life and its pleasantries. you never really know what to expect.

i feel a bit more focused this year, considering the fact that i have a lot more responsibilities to fulfill other than trying to make the grade [staying..staying..staying..etc?]. i've told a few friends that i was considering a change in plans, and it absolutely broke my heart to see them so upset. Reactions: AK was silent, Julie thought i was trying to trick her, Christina told me she was thinking about leaving too [oh hey!], Josh was in denial for 2 weeks, and Mihir simply made me want to cry ["I've lost eight people this year that I loved, and if you leave..I really don't want to lose you too."]. after hearing that, i couldn't bring myself to tell anyone else. it's funny how someone you've known for such a small amount of time becomes such a big part of your life..almost like a family that you want to protect and take care of. Reason #89 for not leaving.

it's weird, though, because a lot of my friends are actually considering transferring as well. trying to cheat the system, you know..maybe this is the right time [TCU, UT..?]. i'm just not sure if that's exactly what i'm supposed to do. i can't see myself anywhere else other than here, but in this circumstance i have to comply w my obligations. the only remedy is prayer and patience--much easier said than done.

despite that, He provides when you least expect it--in your greatest desperation.

i've been thriving off of this:
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end." Ecc. 3:11

..He always seems to find a way to make me smile :)