crazy hazy good days.

this past week has been incredibly nuts..manageable but nuts:

• SATURDAY: i find out that my family is moving to a new house on Thursday, which i'm so excited about! it's in the heart of Scottsdale and much more centralized. checked it out. very cute. ^_^
• SUNDAY: church. Ikea for room ideas. reading for my Biology and Society research paper.
• MONDAY: readingreadingreading for my Biology and Society research paper..THEN i realize that the 200+ page book that i'm reading is very irrelevant to my topic of choice (DEADLINE: Thursday midnight. yikes.). come home to find out that we are expected to move out of our current house by Wednesday instead of Thursday. double yikes. stayed up till 2am packing, and due to my pack-rat nature, i barely packed half of my belongings..gotta do something about that..
• TUESDAY: got a new book for the research paper (only 67 pages..hooray!) and started reading my heart out. homework for 3 hours. packed till 3am with some help from Master's Commission (thank you, Jesus!). half-way done. (ps- happy 21st birthday to Brino!)
• WEDNESDAY: up at 7am. reading. writing. physic-sing. chemistry-ing. tutoring? i hope i can talk my way out of it. guilty? slightly. neccessary? very. moving in, despite the accompanying stress, is ridiculously exciting. cannot wait to decorate!
• THURSDAY: labbbbbbb dayyyyy=lonnnngggg dayyyy. getting settled in day..and possibly painting my room day? AMSA presentation this night.
• FRIDAY: hopefully a little bit of rest. that would be nice..ANDANDAND it's my mother's 42nd birthday. :)

lesson learned.

God loves broken people.

God loves broken people.

God loves broken people.

God loves broken people.

(and He sees YOU in the midst of it.)

almost here. 5 days.

"Plain women are always jealous of their husbands. Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women's husbands."

~Oscar Wilde

writers do have quite a way with words, and they are so very precise. haha

these past few weeks have been nothing short of interesting..

kind of to the point of not really understanding what it is that's really going on in the world.

slightly disconnected.

have you ever felt that no matter how much you've prayed, and asked and waited..all you hear is

nothing..?

trying not to lose hope. trying to stay strong. trying to maintain my sanity.

school starts in a week and i'm just a little short of being excited.

65,000>>15,000..that's a HUGE difference.

one of my best friends, Sophie, just flew out to CA this morning to study at Biola as a transfer. my other friend, Katherine, is leaving on friday, and my other friend, Gianna is already back in OK studying at ORU.

i already miss them terribly..

i'm not too thrilled about being called a 'sun devil' now either..it's original that's for sure.

i'm still on hold for registering for classes and i'm kind of worried..i know He'll pull through, but the wait is killing me!

patience. that's what i've been learning lately.

on so many different levels.

Romans 4-5. good stuff.

not feeling too well..throat is killer, and hoping it's not strep.

good news though: got a job (w/ my dad..haha i'm helping with a bunch of paperwork--and nothing short of a BUNCH--but it's helping me pay for my trip to South Africa!), getting some waivers to get into certain classes at school, and became an ISL Rep.

i don't know when it will subside, but i'm hoping that whenever this entire "phase" ends that i will finally know what to do.

i will know what to do.

"A mother's love is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, it never fails or falters, even though the heart is breaking."

~Helen Rice

it's funny how the most unlikely but most likely people can surprise us.

so shocking that you have to laugh.

it's the best cure..next to

chocolate of course, with a healthy heap of

His sweetness.

nevereverever. really.

at about 12am the night before his flight, my dad woke me up asking if it would be ok if i could dog-sit our family friends' two dogs, Tink and Ziggy, who were also going on the Philippines trip.

i thought it was a bad dream.

FALSE.

the next day, our friend came by our house w a huge kennel and her pets. i wanted to cry.

no matter how "adorable" i may think an animal is, i don't think i'll ever be able to live w myself having one of my own.

i just can't get past that smell..the stench of wet dog and saliva.

today i decided to be nice to the dogs and washed their kennels and did lovey-dovey pet-owner things..

RESULT: i smell like dog and i want to vomit.

little treasures

i've decided that i enjoy lists very much, so here's another to add to my little collection.

cloud hunting

my most prized film camera

a good cup of coffee

tea parties & scones..and day dreaming about making scones..and trying to peer pressure a certain someone to make me scones instead..

picnics in the grass

flying kites

gloomy days

the precious little flightless quails that cross the street ever so often

indestructible sunglasses

linen sundresses

burlap and leather

TOMS

V5 pens

Moleskin

being somewhere where no one knows you

dancing like one is looking

chats on swings and benches

tree climbing

writing letters

making birthday cards

unconventional people

being completely inappropriate..to an extent

Apples-to-Apples

late-night excursions

film

farmers markets

star gazing

hiking

seeing. being. experiencing. life.

oh hey, summer!

i have come to the realization that home isn't really "home" anymore. rather, i feel like it's my parents' home where i'm only invited to visit for a certain amount of time then go back to my own little world where all that's really in it is me, a few tolerable people, and those who i absolutely hold dear to my heart. though i do hold my family close to me, it seems as if i'm slowly drifting away..like i'm not really supposed to be here. that being held within these four walls is just a phase. that it will end sometime soon. but it's not, unfortunately. my parents have threatened to make me live with them for a semester to "monitor" me, since i'm such a rebelious child and all. because that's what i do. i rebel. i rebel by doing errands and following orders. by isolating myself from the world in order for them to be slightly satisfied with me, though i'm not even remotely close to being tolerated. i see that i have gone up in rank in my family's household during these past few weeks: not only am i the eldest child whom my parents have claimed to have given up on, now i am also my grandmother's personal chauffeur, which is nice because it finally gives the chance of escaping this prison, but sadly the extent of my excursions only remain at the bus stop and the occasional trip to the grocery store. in short, it's hell.

my parents and my little brother are going out of the country to go on a mission trip to the Philippines, which is great (for all of us), but that means i get to babysit my sister and my grandmother. awesome. i wish i were volunteering or shadowing instead, but my parents made me postpone it until the school year started bc they don't want me to "mess up" again. i am officially a "messer-upper". i've come to the point where i am thrilled for summer school to finally begin. grand.

although many doors are opening for me here, i am miserable, and on the verge of losing my sanity. which isn't much of a stretch from what i've already experienced these past few years of my extremely short life. hello, summer.

the things i love most about: Baylor U. and where the Waco Wackos live

my dearest

Baylor University,

it's only been a few weeks since leaving your loveliness, but i miss you quite terribly already. i never thought i'd be the one to say, "i miss WACO and its absurdities--every bit of it," but it's true.

imissyouimissyou.

• the paranoia that takes hold of me when i go to the grocery store
• the great distinction between those from BU and those who hail from Waco
• little bluebonnets
• the Suspension Bridge
• the 5-ish restaurants that i actually enjoy
• being helplessly bored during the weekends..
• ..being entertained by the nutheads whom i call my best friends <3
• late night chats about only God knows what
• kite flying, picnicking, & card making/coloring
• running through sprinklers in the middle of those hot summer nights
• "attempting" to play ultimate and slowly finding my way towards a nice piece of grass to be an expectator instead
• "home"
• knowing that there's always a familiar face just around the corner
• our very own live mascots--Judges Lady and Joy
• running/drowning in the rain
• Baylor Flood Season
• a series of fatty food..
• Dr. Pepper Hour
• Blue Bell cake-batter ice cream
• hot days and Mr. Snow
• barbeque ribs/chicken/sausage
• the epitome of carbs and grease..mmmm
• the beautiful grass on Draper Field and mediocre grass on Russell Field and Cameron Park
• lunch dates in "Emo Park" with Shim and Roo
• Christmas on 5th Street and the infamous petting zoo
• Homecoming Weekend, roasting by the gargantuous bonfire, and quality time with old friends..and my twin :)
• watching people unicycle, roller blade, or ride Vespas with 3 people on them to class
• taking cover in fear of tornadoes
• jumping over the little creek by the BSB
• Baylor Science Building--MY HOME!
• the BSB winter wind tunnel
• "camping out" in Moody Library and fighting to the death over desks/rooms/chairs
• bonding and making friends over an 800 paged textbook during our late nights in Moody
• creeping around Moody with my best friends
• spontaneous kolache trips to Czech Stop
• that single spontaneous late night trip to Austin
• cupcake runs to What About Cupcakes?
• Hey Cupcake?
• climbing trees in Emo Park
• dodging cyclists and watching people get run over them as i struggle to contain my laughter on my way to class
• barbecues and dinner parties
• coffee runs and coffee dates with my lovely friends at Common Grounds [affectionately referred to as 'CG']
• "Two-Stamp Tuesdays"
• $2 Finals Week Cowboy Coffee
• late night car-ride dance parties with Ahmad
• "blaming it"..but not really. just watching other people "blame it"..
• the traditional Sunday brunch at Cafe Cappuccino
• learning how to longboard and keeping me alive
• contemplating on going the SLC..
• late night snack runs
• 'Chronicles of Moody' with Robert and the movable book stacks, featuring Prince Caspian
• the many familiar faces that have a high possibility of becoming a very close friend
• fruit pizza parties during finals week
• movie and baking nights topped with a lovely tea party
• attempting to get into shenanigans with Ahmad, and failing miserably..
• Ian popping, locking, and dropping it at 3am in the middle of Moody's Garden Level Quiet Area
• struggling to speak French with Navjot
• DELTA LOVE: Brotha Clown (VP), Sista Tummy Grumble, Sista Pap Smear, Brotha Thunder-C, and Sista Fierce (President)..of the Arizona chapter! <3
• Pick, Push, Pij!
• 'Fierce!' and 'Take Me!' pictures
• free concerts, free food, free shirts..it better be free--i'm paying $40,000/yr for this
• evangelists preaching at the foot of Judge Baylor waiting for students to come out of chapel
• bipolar weather
• ISSA Culture Show and Stomp Fest..makes me wish i were more cultured..or Indian at least..really.
• DIADELOSO and DIA EVE!
• people who look like they actually take showers..
• the unexpected kids with green hair and people walking around w tree branches and boxes on their heads
• 3 hour meals with my favorite people
• alleged gang fights with Wacoans
• tortilla tossing at the Suspension Bridge
• antique-shop hunting and vintage shopping
• the LaSalle graveyard
• night shift movie nights complete with a roll of cookie dough, vanilla ice cream, Nat-Shap, and Yvonne
• southern twangs and lingo [i.e. "y'all"]
• boys in cowboy boots..never got used to that..
• the Baylor girls' "uniform": pearl necklace, Nike running shorts, leggings, white v-neck/panhellinic event t-shirt, running shoes/Rainbows/Uggs/Sperry's, North Face Jacket/panhellinic fleece, Baylor hat, over-sized designer handbag
• the "echo circle" in front of Pat-Neff

more to come..

j'ai une énorme migraine..

..et les femmes qui sont ici sont tres ennuyeux..

i want to cry. my head hurts so, so, so badly.

is that bad?

a little gift from the netherlands

angelic in a chaotic way.

jiri kylian.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETf9qPJYyWk

thank you, nuh' rae!

blady kris.

so, so, so, so phenomenal.

dreads and all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3oWAT_5jV4&feature=fvst

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdLLVY_-gQY

good morning, sunshine.

beautiful sunny day.

found.

this spring break, i went on a mission trip with my college group from my home church in Waco, TX, Antioch Community Church, to Edinburg, TX. we were originally going to Reynosa, MX, but because of the situation going on down south, we decided that it would be wise to stay within the borders.

honestly, i didn't know what to expect from that mission trip..i felt led to go..i did, with apprehension, and have never been the same again. lesson learned: listen. obey.

He found me. He made me whole. He sings to me. He gives me b.e.a.u.t.y. and sunrises.

i look like i came out of a cartoon.

A Recap of the Past Two Months of My Life:

January
-drove down to TX with my family, had a little visit from the Q's, and started off the new semester

sauce-some.-adventure #1: fixing everything that was broken in my semester plans. self explanatory.
-French, Psychology, Genetics, Genetics Lab, and Religion-Christian Heritage. that's as good as it gets. i saved myself from the torture of Physics I, but that just means that it will come back to haunt me this summer. lovely.
-i turned 20 on the 25th. it was cold, gloomy, and i had to work that day. i cried.

..the cake made it a little better though. February
-Singles Awareness Day could not have been made any more eventful after i witnessed an awkward couple making out and going at it on the couch while i was at work. thank you for reminding me how single i am, which i'm quite thankful for.

PPF! i. loves. my. ianator.

Singles Awareness Dates <3 -Sophie flew down last Thursday with her dad to visit her grandmother and i was able to see her! we met up in Georgetown (just 30 mins. north of Austin), had a cup of tea, and took a stroll. perfect timing to see a familiar face. :)

Georgetown, TX with..

..my Soapy-Sophie-Cakes!-i've come to the realization that it takes me days trying to look for a decent present for someone because i usually end up finding something that i'd buy for myself..
-..despite that, i found the perfect gift for my sister after two days of searching and awkwardly talking to myself to keep me from my unhealthy shopaholic ways. she turned 13 yesterday! yay! -my family got a new puppy named Nolo. i call dibs on not taking care of it.

i've come to the conclusion that i enjoy obnoxiously bright yellow dresses way too much. i'm wearing one right now and i feel like i look like big bird. if you can't tell, this is how i get the guys. CORRECTION: this is how i get the creepy guys, which is approximately half of the people i meet. completely disappointing, but the absolute key to success.

i'm late, as always.

it's a new year, a new semester, and i'm already behind..hence this blog that was supposed to be posted in January, and it's almost March. awesome. this is my attempt to be rid of my lethargy.

Christmas break was pretty wonderful. very relaxing, quiet..everything that embodies what i always want my vacation to be. there were a few rough patches, i must admit, but things worked out and ended on a satisfactory note. i was able to spend a lot of time with my brother and sister [took them out on a few brother-sisters dates], talked to my parents, which was nice bc they got to know me a little bit better, and spent some time with my grandmother. it was a little disappointing though bc she worked all the time..it seemed like the only time i ever got a chance to speak with her or see her was when she was getting picked up from Macy's where she worked, which was about an hour away from home. i could tell that my parents were having a bit of a hard time with it, but i hope that things clear up a little more as these next few months progress..

my family and i spent the Christmas holiday at our new home and cooked, ate, lounged, slept, and watched movies for a good week or so. haha we finally left the house before New Year's Eve and went to our friends', the Weldon's, cabin in Payson to spend a few days away from the city and to go snowboarding, which was such a blast! it was so refreshing being in the snow and away from our element. my family decided to take some lessons when we hit the slopes; my mother took on skiing and my father, brother, and sister decided to take snowboarding lessons. i already knew how to snowboard, but took lessons anyway to keep my dad company and to get a better deal [oh yeah ;)]..that was an adventure. lol my mother was pretty good, but had some difficulties in stopping, and my dad could only snowboard backwards, which is a pretty interesting/amazing problem to have. the kids learned pretty easily, but were annoyed by their overprotective instructor. my dad and i had a 19 y.o. instructor by the name of Chris, who ended up telling me about his engagement with his fiancee and their plans for marriage in the spring and how he hoped to follow the footsteps of his already married identical twin. lovely. it was a shock, but it was quite interesting to see how people in different regions had such a diverse way of viewing life. it was quite inspiring to see his passion and the way he spoke of his dreams for him and his family..i truly wish him the best.

i got to see one of my best friends, Gianna, and got to spend a lot of time with her..i think we bonded quite a bit over the break. who knew that two individuals who seemed so different in the beginning could become such great friends? she has certainly become such a wonderful woman of God and i am immensely blessed to even know her. she has gumption. :) i also got to see Briana and Sophie, but i never got a chance to really spend some time with them..i wonder if it was because i was trying too hard to hide from people..? Brian, Ian, and Shane all came home for the holidays as well. Brian lost 20 lbs. and he looks great! i felt kind of bad though bc i didn't really see any difference the first few times i saw him, but when he finally told me things finally came together. .so much for being "observant". Ian got a little bigger in stature, and he was quite composed whenever i saw him, which was a nice change. But i think Shane was one of the most changed individuals in our little group of friends. you could tell how deeply in love he was with God and how much he cherished and basked in His presence. everything he spoke of was full of LIFE and it was great having that friend who you could connect with in that spiritual sense. it really makes me want to challenge myself more every day..i was able to speak with Keith as well, and during one of the few times that i did he tells me that i was very objective..'kind of like a guy..in a good way'. i wasn't really sure how to take that. still don't know. i guess i could take that as 'you're insensitive,' which i really don't mind at all. in fact, i like it. gives me the tough edge that i don't really have, right?

our friends got married a few days after new year's day..it was quaint. i mean, we were thrilled for them for the most part, but i must admit that it was a little questionable how things came about..my ten cents worth of input: congratulations, you've just made the worst decision you could ever make in your lifetime. [insert 'preach it' here]

my mother, sister, and i drove back to TX together, which was actually a really nice time. we were able to bond and get to know one another really well, which we haven't really done despite the fact that we've all lived with one another for years..i guess it just goes to show that living with someone doesn't really make a difference in your relationship with them. lesson learned: cohabitation isn't for me.

we arrived to Waco on sunday afternoon where i showed Micah and my mother around my school and the city. the Quatrinis were actually in Dallas looking at houses and checking out Kenneth Copeland's church and were able to drop by for a visit at Baylor, which was so refreshing! it's always so nice to see a familiar face every now and then, but when you rarely spend time with friends and family from home, you cherish them even more.

all in all, this semester is going to be good. i'm claiming and believing for it. i will overcome!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sjYWrpNoCs