freaked.

out.

officially.
still wondering how in the world i got this point in my life..what am i doing??
was so content for so long and felt like i had the world in my hands, and now here i am.

needs CHANGE.
NEEDS change.

WORLD CUP 2010

USA IS IN!!!!

i'm. freaking. out.

will all of my friends please, please, please stop getting engaged? and having babies? and settling down?
it's giving me a heart attack.

soon..

..i will be in California basking in the sun, waking up to the sound of crashing waves from sleeping on the sandy beach. i am THRILLED. i am ready to get a tan (no more uneven skin tones), to see an old friend, spend time w people i usually don't see, and just indulge in God's beautiful creation. don't really mind if it's cold or not..just ready to be in great company. :)

i've been reminiscing a lot lately, and i'm not really sure what to make of it. been going over old journals, and have been contemplating on burning some of them in the campfire next week. still praying over it..am i ready to let go of the past or do i want to keep these journals to see where i've come from? it's just that they're so full of hurt that i'm not sure i'm ready to let go just yet. it's just that it has had such a HUGE impact on my life, but not all of it is good or edifying..actually the majority of it is not good or edifying. praying, seeking for patience, and courage to do what i need to do to continue my growth in Him. can't wait to spend some time out by the ocean..so close i can almost taste it!

4 days till San Clamente.

9 days till the World Cup.

the livings easy

finally getting into the summer...

• sleeping in 'til 10:30am.
• staying up late reading books and watching movies.
• investing in things that i have interest in for once.
• enjoying new company.
• feeling free.
• actually acting somewhat my age instead of a 40 y.o. cat lady.

had a greatgreatgreat evening! went to a fashion show at the W Hotel with my best friend, got hooked up with second row seats, won a free pair of tickets to the 'Sex and the City 2' premier, and enjoyed the company of a new crowd. i felt liberated. it's been so long since i felt like i could breathe easily, and now i finally feel like AZ is kind of ok. haha so blessed with wonderful people that i can share and live life with!

i passed!

this morning marked the beginning of my journey of becoming a true American!

God was completely and totally on my side..no complications, no questioning, NOTHING.

He proves Himself faithful and true in such unexpected times.

PTL, PTL, PTL

still waiting to see if Switzerland is still a possibility for me. still in talks w my aunt to see if contacts are still available. either way i am so excited for this summer.

things to do:

(**=maybe's)

shadowing in Switzerland**

medical mission to Costa Rica

camping on the beach in San Clemente

Vegas w my mother and sister :)

Martha's Vineyard w the entire family or a road trip up the West Coast**

camping up north w family and friends

visit NatShap in CA**

camping w Nick and Ahmad in August**

researching for my Capstone Project..ehh

studying for the MCAT in September..double ehh

super stoked that i DON'T have summer school this year!

it's going to be a great one.

so excited for new adventures, meeting new people, and for whatever else lies ahead!

i need..

a drink.

sleep.

some sanity.

time.

tolerable people.

BFFLS

josh ben-rajab and hanna morse are two of the most precious people that i know and that i hold so dear to my heart.

your child-like faith and mature immaturity makes my heart beyond happy.

it's so ridiculous i could have a heart attack.

ps-i love you (but not like the movie).

procrastination..?

i treasure..

these past few weeks have been nothing short of a challenge.

having been bombarded with midterms, averaging ~4 hours of sleep each

night, inhaling at least 3 cups of coffee each day,

and consuming junk food that could probably feed two families,

i have found joy in each and every one of these moments.

trying to make it through the week in one piece. i'll have the weekend to cope with it.

my love-hate relationships...

white linen. light. low beds. white rooms.

Kinder Chocolate..such treats (literally)!

child hazard, yes, but they never get old..takes me back to spending

my summers in Europe with the family. :)

coffee. i'll suffer the withdrawals.

learning..i am just as surprised.

i've been gone for so long..

..and now i'm back! haven't been using this blog lately, so i've decided to give a little bit of an update. life has been quite adventurous in an odd monotonous way this semester so far. reality is finally starting to sink in. i'm slowly becoming more and more involved at my youth pastor's church and i'm so thankful for it. my spiritual walk has been floating around for quite a bit and i've become a little worrisome. doubts and questions have begun to arise that i had never really thought of before (i.e. why do i have faith in God? is this really my faith or have i been force fed these ideas for so long making me think that they're my own?). it has been a tough journey, but the more i keep meditating on these things the clearer His voice becomes. He is there and He sees me. wow..to know and understand that the Creator sees and hears every little thing i say and do is overwhelming. what a magnificent way of showing His love for us! though i still have those days when i doubt, mainly due to the circumstances that occur with daily life, He always finds away to make Himself visible. He lets me cry even when i look like a creep just laying on the floor of my room staring at the ceiling with tears streaming down my face. He probably chuckles a little bit by how silly i look, but He continues to love and He continues to cradle me. what a year..so many different experiences and so much growth. will be sure to write more when i have more time.

AGAPE.